Confessions of an Ex-Vegan, Pt. 2

A few days ago, I picked up a pamphlet entitled "Guide to Cruelty-Free Eating", propaganda distributed by Vegan Outreach. I figured I would read through it and pick it apart, thereby picking apart my own old dogmas. Surprisingly, there wasn't that much for me to fuss about. It wasn't sensationally profiling the horrors of factory farming like many other vegan rags and it actually promoted checking the "holier-than-thou" vegan standard at the door in order to share information with others without sparking so much defensiveness in them. The pamphlet mostly focused on how to maintain a healthy vegan or vegetarian diet whist acknowledging the individual needs of people based on their unique make-up, age, etc. While it was still adamantly proselytizing the benefits and superiority of veganism, it was more fair and balanced than a lot of other vegan info out there.

It must be noted that "Guide to Cruelty-Free Eating" is not without flaw. Throughout the pamphlet, the health benefits of veganism are touted using citations from a number of studies. I'm sure these studies are as reputable as any other study on human health, which from my perspective should be approached with a "healthy" dose of scrutiny and caution. The subject of human health is a many layered and mysterious one indeed. After years of studying "alternative" health, I have found that often times "health", "healthy", and "healing" are a matter of perspective. For instance, a number of vegan protein-sources are suggested in the pamphlet, most of which are highly-processed, plastic encased, non-organic, wheat and soy-based foods. Now, perhaps I'm biased since I discovered my gluten and soy sensitivities, but I wouldn't consider TVP, seitan, and other "meat analogues" to be healthy or for that matter, "cruelty-free". Certainly, on occasion, these would prove relatively innocuous for non-allergic folks, but as a replacement for flesh foods? Considering how often most people consume meat, that's a lot of vital wheat gluten mucking up your gut and that's more than enough plastic added to the landfill! Now, I'm not saying eating a bunch of meat everyday is any better. What I'm saying is, the answer is not so simple.

I whole-heartedly support an end to the genocide and torture of animals worldwide. I also whole-heartedly support the move towards a conscious and compassionate lifestyle that works in balance with ecosystems and honors the lives of plants, animals, minerals, and microbes alike. In someways the vegan argument doesn't go far enough, often coming from a place of fear set in righteousness, it lacks a necessary self-consciousness. Factory farms are only one piece of a far larger problem with not only our food system, but our "civilized" lifestyles in general. If one wants to live in a way that supports vitality on this planet, as I do, then one must be willing to scrutinize all aspects of daily life. What we eat is definitely a part of this, as is whether or not we drive a car, how much water we use, where we buy our clothes, and what we use to clean our sinks. A person can be vegan and still have a major "negative" environmental impact on the planet. Shoes made out of synthetic material are not by virtue of being leather-free and thus "cruelty-free", more environmentally-friendly. Soy and corn are great examples of plant crops, subsidized by the government for a variety of uses, that are having major environmental impacts on river ecosystems and other environments (see "Spilling the Beans on Soy" by Heidi Sopinka). Yes, much of this crop is used as feed for livestock, but it's also used for a variety of other industries.

There's no doubt that meat production uses an obscene amount of resources and is rife with political controversy. I personally encourage others (and myself) to cut down on their meat consumption, to boycott animal testing, and to consume less and locally, among other things. It's important for us to see the big picture and realize that we can find a balance between being compassionate towards our fellow beings and towards ourselves. For some of us, using animal products is a matter of survival, but in the process of survival, do we have to inflict unnecessary suffering upon those creatures that feed us and keep us warm? I don't think so. Somewhere there's a balance where we can honor the lives of the plants, the animals, the waters, and the sun-rays that feed and nurture our bodies. At the very least we can invoke gratitude in the name of All Our Relations, or Aho, Mitakuye Oyasin (in the original Lakota) when ever we are at the dinner table or donning our favorite leather boots. And then we can take that sentiment and turn it into actions in our daily lives that support the liberation of all of Mother Earth's beloved creations.

Here are a few links that I found interesting:

The Conscious Carnivore: The Ethics of Eating Meat

The Eco-conscious Carnivore

For Meat-Eating Authors, a More Tender Approach - www.washingtonpost.com

Are You There?

Hello all!

I've been wondering if there's anyone out there reading my blog.  So, if you are, please leave comments to let me know.... even a "Hi!" and "Hello!".  Tell me who you are and what you love/don't love about my stuff!  You can now subscribe to my blog too!  (See the right column).  

~Be Well~

Mlle. Novadawn M.

Am I My Own Worst Enemy?

What sparks this question is the 8 of Swords.

This card popped up in a reading recently, and sparked a rather strong reaction in me.  Like any metaphoric system, there are multiple interpretations to be had.  However, the most important one's are those with personal significance, the one's that speak to us in a language we are able to receive and understand.  With this in mind, I wish to explore the significance this card holds for me.

So, let's begin with the number.  Eight is a numerological symbol for power.  Some sources have a materialistic take on it, interpreting it as a number of material wealth, business acumen, and positions of authority, while forgetting more esoteric significances.  Eight can also symbolize the joining of the above and the below.  Turned on it's side, the eight is the sign for infinity.  While the materialistic interpretation has a value of it's own, I'm more privy to the arcane interpretations.  The fusion of spirit ("above") and matter ("below") is the work of the magician or alchemist.  Through the process of this "Great Work", one discovers the source of true power (the ability see beyond illusion/delusion, manifest through Will, serve as conduit to the Divine, etc.).  Thus eight, is a symbol for the achievement of true power (which is not power over, but power within).

The suit of swords in the tarot represents the intellect and the air element.  The eight paired with the swords indicates a relationship between power and mind.  It asks us to ponder what purpose intellect serves in the wielding of true power.  It warns us that the mind when given credence over the heart, only serves to bind, blind and banish us from our power (see the woman in the card).  This is not to downplay the importance of the intellect.  On the contrary, it serves a very important role in our ability to discern, critique, explore and understand.  However, for true self discovery and empowerment to occur, the mind must work in service to the heart (otherwise defined as intuition, Holy Spirit, Chante (Lakota), etc.).  It is through the heart that we receive pure guidance (inner knowing) from our essential selves.  The fusion of the above and the below takes place at the heart center.  It is here that intellect and emotion meet to share their respective observations and information so that one can act consciously from the heart.  

Considering the above, we can see that the eight of swords card is a symbol for powerlessness caused by intellectual beliefs.  In other words, the state of powerlessness shown is merely an illusion of the mind, choice still exists, it's simply unacknowledged.  The woman in the card is bound and blindfolded, barren and barred.  However, the way in front of her is clear and she has the freedom of movement in her feet.  A trickle of water lays a path for her.  The water being a symbol for emotion, gives her the encouragement to feel her way out of her predicament.  To be freed, she must loose the shackles of the intellect, allow her emotions to flow and will the two to meet in a moment of self-realization.  She has been party to her own oppression all along.  She has created many of these limitations for herself by buying into dis-empowering messages, external and internal alike.  On the other hand, some of the limitations have likely been imposed upon her from outside sources and are out of her control.  However, the point is not where the limitations originated, but what she perceives as her level of choice in the situation.  The better she can recognize what is, the better she can recognize the what kind of power she has to shift her circumstances.  This is the number eight, this is the magical act of grounding intent through the use of Will.  So, does she choose to give in to the limitations or use her creative spirit to find ways around, through, and beyond them?  Does she choose to activate her latent emotions and give them as much import as her fear-filled, dominating mind?  Is she what stands in her way? 

Alas, I must ask myself these very same things.  When considering these questions in the context of the intellect I must be careful not to negate the hard reality of social inequities that exist outside of my immediate control.  That said, I am challenged to see how, in my beliefs about myself and the world, I disallow myself a better life.  To tell the truth, my life isn't all that bad, especially when compared to many of my fellow relations, but subjectively speaking, I'm not fulfilled.  My dreams seem forever unattainable and I feel powerless for it.  But, perhaps I have fallen victim to my own lack of faith and my unwillingness to call up the creative forces innate in me to solve the riddle of my bindings.  It's difficult to put a mirror to one's mind, to deconstruct those brilliantly laid internal stories, in order to really see what's going on.  I've already asked myself what I want.  I know what I want.  Now, I just have to see what's standing in my way.  I have feeling that, as I lift my blindfold, I'll discover many faces of me staring back.  It's just a matter of convincing them that I know what needs to happen, that I've got it straight from the Source, and that they've got nothing to worry about.  Well, it's easier said than done, isn't it?  Or is that just a good example of how my mind is tricking my heart?

A Few Thoughts on Thoughts

"The most amazing thing about being human, is that we are conscious of being conscious." - Fredrick P. Harris (My grandfather)

I hear a lot about the power of thoughts coming from a variety of New Age and other spiritual sources.  This is what I have to say about it:

Thought alone may have a certain energy to it.  I'm okay with this assertion.  How powerful said energy is, however, is seriously up for debate.  Can I live in my dream world  just by thinking it into existence?  NO.  If that were true, I'd be there... and I'm not.  Some would say that's because I'm not "manifesting" it, I don't really believe in it.  I'm sorry but, what if my ideal world has unicorns, nothing but awesome comfortable Victorian-Faerie-Goth-Dancer fashion that fits me perfectly, cats who can speak my language, and cute little flying horses in it?  If I really, really believe, will I experience that world right here and now?  Ha!  As much as I'm a magical thinker, I have to say no.  Those things lie in the world of the imagination, and they can be very real, in a sense.  They're not, however, going to appear in super-corporeal fashion, they are fey in nature, apparitions flitting in and out of peripheral vision, and that's okay, because it's their role in this dense world.  The creatures, visions, and dreams of our imagination serve to remind us that the cold, hard objects that we encounter in our daily lives are not everything.  There is magic, wonder and a reason to hope for a better world.  There is mystery to balance the mundane.  That said, the world of ideas is only significant when we take action on the thoughts we have, whether we do so consciously or unconsciously.  Thoughts may "emanate" from our being, but they quickly dissipate when they are not given the added oomph of an activating principle.  The action can be very small, and very habitual, to the point of being completely unconscious, or it can be consciously created and moved.  I don't believe that thought alone has a power comparable to thought + action.   Perhaps this could be true on a more ethereal plane, but with the time, gravity, and solidity we encounter here, it's simply ludicrous.

There's currently a big trend that's all about the "power of positive thinking".  There's nothing wrong with positivity, and affirmations that help one to recognize how amazing and beautiful they are can be powerful.  Playing with the idea of what one can do as opposed to what one can't do is often the more open and liberating rout to take.  My question is, what happens when someone believes that they should only ever have "positive" thoughts?  Doesn't this shackle them to a moralistic concept, the failure of which could well lead to neurosis, guilt and shame?  The problem is not the percentage of positive or negative thoughts we have daily, but how conscious of our thought patterns we are.  Being able to simply observe our thoughts with compassion is more important than only thinking in the positive.  By doing this we have nothing to fail at.  We are empowered to recognize thoughts that come from a place of love, understanding and acceptance as well as thoughts that come from fear, insecurity, and anger.  In this way we can better understand our motivations behind actions and reactions, and make more effective choices as we grow.  It's perfectly natural for us experience a variety of feelings, thoughts, and ideas, including those we or our society deems "unsavory".  It is unhealthy for us to repress the free flow of these experiences, for when we do, we find ourselves a chaotic mess.  

I personally strive for balance.  I embrace my "negative" thoughts.  They are equally as important and valuable as my "positive" ones.  All of my thoughts and ideas have something to tell me about how I'm feeling and what's happening around me.  Do I choose to change certain of my thought patterns?  Absolutely.  Am I blind to some of my idea-loops and theoretical contradictions?  Yes.  Will I do my best to act upon thoughts that are in the highest benefit of all my relations?  Always.

Body Sacred?

What is this thing that keeps me bound to place and time,
to earth, air, fire and water?
What is this flesh that aches and loves?
My body sacred?
A Goddess vessel?
Even after a breeze swept through,
shoving out old rubbish...
well, it seems,
the monsters have more room to move now.
They gnaw at my small confidence, screaming,
"NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
INADEQUATE!
TOO BIG!
TOO SMALL!
WORTHLESS!"
Where is my temple?
This place just feels like a rotting sunken ship,
most of the time.
The sweet voices of Truth tell me that
I've got two moons and a chalice;
tools for creative revery,
but I keep forgetting where I put them.
Why don't I kick them out...
the monsters who keep squashing my silence?
What am I getting out of these common house guests?
What strokes of genius do they offer me after their relentless abuse?
Perhaps they're angry because I've caged them and left them to starve.
Perhaps that's why they're voraciously gnawing at my sacred blood,
my body beyond beauty,
my heart's spiraling light.
Next week I bleed them out,
I birth my parasites and
set them free.

The Dangers of Co-sleeping!

Why You Too, Should Hug Trees

Today, my little friend, "Sa-bam-bam" and I went to the park to lunch and play. It was an ordinary visit, except for one moment, which has stayed with me throughout the day. As we were making our way to leave, my tot-friend approached a tall tree and proceeded to explore it's textured bark. This inspired me to hug the tree, to see if he'd follow suit. He did. But this is not the exceptional occurrence, neither is Sam's request to climb said tree. No, the moment was entirely mine, unless Sam experienced the same thing, which I cannot know because he's still too young to convey abstract concepts. When I gently flung my arms about the trunk, I felt an equally gentle energy pull my subtle-self downward with it. I felt myself become embodied and grounded. It was a calming sensation, very nurturing and very connecting. Now, this is not the first time I've hugged a tree, but it is the first time I've been so aware of such a sensation. I felt the feeling I've been searching for through many energetic exercises and visualizations, which have worked for me to varying degrees, but which take a considerable amount of focus and effort. This moment of tree meets beast was blissfully effortless. My experience with the tree is remarkable because feeling grounded in my body is difficult for me. For much of my life, I've felt outside of my body, floating alongside it, but not inside it. Over the past 6 years or so, my body has been begging me to love it better, to energize it with my life force, lest I whither away in heaps of pain and discomfort. It has taken chronic health issues to help me realize the importance of modifying my relationship with this vehicle called body. I've been presented with the option to give into a life of suffering or to rise up to a life of balance. I've chosen the latter. So, here's where tree-hugging comes in. If it's so easy to draw my subtle-self into my physical self and even deeper into Earth, just by embracing a tree, I'm going to make that a routine part of my daily actions. Like many of us born in the US, I am a creature of ease and convenience and let me tell you, to become grounded, snuggling with trees is a lot easier and faster than doing a standing tree meditation. Not only that, by coming into direct contact with another living being, I'm more deeply connecting to myself, as well as the infinite wellsprings of life. So, if you see me around town cuddling the rough skin of our leafy friends, I invite you to join me, you may find yourself pleasantly surprised!