And the Pendulum Swings!

Here I sit in someone else's dream, drinking in the tea. I'm in someone else's desperation, borrowing their love for just a little while. My motivation is small, as though I want it all to fall apart in order to regain my sense of self. I've almost stopped worrying about "getting by". It's not that I don't want to do the work, it's that I don't want to do that work. I stubbornly resist it, even though it's the easy way. I'm bored with the easy way, only I'm lost to any other way to go. I've been instructed to stop trying so hard. Yet, how far do I let the pendulum swing?