And I Let Go...

In my exhaustion, the fighting in my heart and mind subsides.  I give all the trying to the Mystery, I surrender it all to... what is it?  Fate or Destiny?  My breath feels clearer as I give in and crumble under the pressure.  The phoenix and the tower, explosion and destruction, sacrifice and incineration, these give way to fertile ground.  Even as I write, I create and destroy.  I choose the words that will live in this composition and those that will die or perhaps never have a chance at being included this time around.  My life is no different.  There are little pieces that fit into the puzzle, while other parts slough off to become pieces of something else.  In this moment I feel helpless as a new born babe.  Have I died and returned a new creature?  I've plunged into the depths of Persephone's domain, down into the dungeons of Hecate, I've sucked the blood fruit of a sizzling death.  This has been my descent.  Now, I take pause.  I stop to retrieve my articles shed, to reattach my very flesh and make my journey back.  I humbly hope and pray for new love, new warmth, and a new hearth, a new home for my heart.